I'm 14, and trying to write a novel, can u pls read what i have so far. Its par

Question:

I'm 14, and trying to write a novel, can u pls read what i have so far. Its part of chptr one.?

I've been working on it for months, and did alot of editing. I posted it before, but this time its' more edited. So here, tell me what you think of it, and pls comment on anything you think i can do to change it and make it better.

DARKHORIZON
Chapter One
Glancing around in hope of finding a way out of the four walls that enclosed around him, he failed to find any relief of escape. Sighing heavily, he rose and paced around the room. He knew if he idled any longer he would not get out alive. The fear of no escape, begun to loom inside his head again. He suddenly stopped his pacing, and stood there in place. He stood at six foot two, at the age of sixteen. He wore what he was wearing the moment they captured him; jeans, a plain white t-shirt, thin gray jacket, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Once his fears begun to subside, he surveyed his surroundings. They kept him locked up in a all white, squared shape room. It was a windowless room with no doors. The only source of

Additional Details

1 week ago
light was illuminating from what seemed to be nowhere. Shadows in the corners, gave off a creepy vibe; a vibe that could send chills down a person??s spine. The silence that surrounded him, made him want to drown himself in his own thoughts.
?? I??ve got to get out, I??ve got to get out. God knows what the possibilities of what going to happen, if I don??t. I don??t want to stick around to find out.??, he constantly thought of himself. All the constant thinking, gave him a massive headache. He fell on the bed that was in the center of the room, which was the only comfort item his capturers decided to give him. He closed his eyes, in attempt to subside the headache. After a few minutes, he reopened his eyes and stared off into the white ceiling. The white color of the ceiling, gave off an illusion of endlessness.
Almost half asleep, he suddenly remembered the camera that been watching him since he was forced into the room. He completely lost track of time, had no idea of how

1 week ago
long he stayed in the asylum like room. He stared at the camera with immense curiosity, then quickly ignored his curiosity of who has been watching him. He quickly averted his eyes away from the camera, as if doing so would make it disappear.
Suddenly, breaking the silence, the sound of footsteps could be heard. He quickly moved his eyes towards the wall, which the sound was came from. He got up and ran towards the wall, planting his ears against it. The sound of single footsteps echoed through the silence. He smiled slyly, knowing he could take out one person. He stepped back, away from the wall and quickly went to a crouching position, ready to pounce on whomever entered the room.
He tried to quickly plan out what he was going to do, but failed to come up with an ideal maneuver to get pass the mystery person. The echoing footsteps suddenly stopped. He kept his eyes on the wall ahead of him. He stood rigid in his position, trying to convince himself he could take down who

1 week ago
whomever entered the room.
He tried to quickly plan out what he was going to do, but failed to come up with an ideal maneuver to get pass the mystery person. The echoing footsteps suddenly stopped. He kept his eyes on the wall ahead of him. He stood rigid in his position, trying to convince himself he could take down whoever was behind the wall. Then finally convinced himself that he was being na㯶e, and could not possibly take out the person.
Out of nowhere, a line of lights traced out a door on the wall . The door slid open, releasing bright light the practically blinded him. Soon, standing before him was figure. It looked obviously human, so he decided to drop the alien abduction theory. The figure took a feminine shape, so he decided it was girl.
?? Who are you??? He asked the girl.
?? I??m just somebody who wants to help.?? She said in soft but yet strong voice.
?? Help who???
?? Well I??m here aren??t I. So how bout take a wild guess who I??m here

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for.??
Before he could say anything else, she stepped out of the light revealing herself. She looked to be about five foot eight, around the age of seventeen. She had long flowing blondish hair with sapphire eyes. Her skin was a light tan color. She wore a completely black attire; a black tank top, long black fingerless gloves that reached to two inches below her elbows, black jeans hugged at her hips and thighs and flared out at her lower leg, with a studded belt, and black combat boots. At her belt was two holsters at her left and right side, that carried glock 23 pistols. Extra rounds covered the rest of her belt.
She stood there with her arms across her chest, staring at the boy who stood in the room.
?? I??m here to help you, Jason Crowell, ?? She walked closer and offered her hand, ?? My name is Valerie. Valerie Hawkson.?? He took her hand and shook hands.
?? You have a firm grip for a girl.?? He said.
?? Well sometimes, you need a firm grip to survive in this

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world,?? She smiled, and continue to say, ?? Now, back to business. I??m here to get you out and the only way I will accomplish that. Is if you trust me, and do what I say, got it.??
?? Got it??
?? Good lets go.??
Valerie led him out of the room and across the bridge that connected the room to the only exit. When they were out, Jason glanced around. Outside the room was nothing but open space. The area was all white, which disguised it??s globe shape. Ahead of them was a single door. Behind that door, he knew was his way back home.
They ran for the door, but when the door slid open. Waiting behind was unexpected company. Standing before them at the doorway, were two bulky men. They wore matching tuxedos, with sun glasses shielding their eyes. They both carried automated machine guns in their hands. They look down at Valerie and Jason. They looked as happy as a predator would be when its catches its prey.
The two teens back away a few steps, and the two men took a few

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steps forward; with the door sliding closed behind them. Valerie took two more steps back and took out the glocks from her side and pointed them at their new opponents.
?? I don??t think guns are appropriate toys for little girls.?? The man at the left said in deep husky voice.
?? Yeah,?? The other man said in the same tone, ?? Little girls should be playing their dollies.??
?? Right,?? Valerie said in annoyance.
?? So why not hand them over, like a good little girl. And nobody will get hurt.?? The right man said.
?? First, can I ask you something??? Valerie asked, with a smirk on her face.
The two men looked at each other, and looked at her mockingly.
?? What would your boss think, if he finds you two. Lying on the floor, with shattered bones; and the only explanation you can give is that a little girl did it caused you the massive injuries.
They laughed and looked at her with mocking smiles. Before they can say anything else, she took a step back

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and leaped forward. She slammed her right heal against the right man??s skull bringing him down to the floor. She landed on her left foot and swung her right leg in the air, and slammed her the point of her foot into the others mans stomach. He fell to the floor and grimaced at the sharp pain.
?? Lets go?? Valerie quickly said, and she led them off towards the door. As the door opened, they hoped to see no more delays. But to their dismay, a group of neatly dressed men awaited them behind the door.
?? Crap.?? Valerie cursed under her breath.
It was a group of six men; four of them were dressed in gray tuxedos and the other two were dressed like the other two who tried to stop them. The four men in gray, stepped took two steps across the threshold, with the two bulky men behind them. Valerie and Jason took a few steps back. They looked at the men, and then glance at each other worriedly.
One of the four men in gray stepped forward and said in an accented voice, ??

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Hello, Valerie. It??s good to see you again.??
??Always good to see you too.?? Valerie said back sarcastically.
?? I see you??ve really done some growing up, but I must say. I see some of your father in you. That prominent attitude of his, which as you know got him killed, has been passed down to you. Well I shouldn??t be surprised, you were always with him. You two were inseparable.??
?? Yeah ,we were.??
?? Yes, indeed. But It was getting to be a problem though, you stubbornness to leave your father??s side got in the way of his job. So, you see why I had to fix the problem. Your father??s elimination, was the perfect solution. It was for the better; the company was saved from your fathers reluctant attitude, and you were able to grow and to mature. Actually, you should be thanking me Ms. Hawkson. If it wasn??t for your father??s passing, you wouldn??t have grown at all.??

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 1 week ago
light was illuminating from what seemed to be nowhere. Shadows in the corners, gave off a creepy vibe; a vibe that could send chills down a person??s spine. The silence that surrounded him, made him want to drown himself in his own thoughts.
?? I??ve got to get out, I??ve got to get out. God knows what the possibilities of what going to happen, if I don??t. I don??t want to stick around to find out.??, he constantly thought of himself. All the constant thinking, gave him a massive headache. He fell on the bed that was in the center of the room, which was the only comfort item his capturers decided to give him. He closed his eyes, in attempt to subside the headache. After a few minutes, he reopened his eyes and stared off into the white ceiling. The white color of the ceiling, gave off an illusion of endlessness.
Almost half asleep, he suddenly remembered the camera that been watching him since he was forced into the room. He completely lost track of time, had no idea of how