I have a poem, I need to know what you think.?

Question:

I have a poem, I need to know what you think.?

In darken lands, man strives.
Hand to mouth, he survives.
Good and evil war, one is slew.
Into moon beams a soul did flew.
Now stands alone, unknown one thrives.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: is english your native language?
or is your convention to use words incorrectly?
I don't mean to be harsh, but any time someone rhymes with poor grammar, I can't help but see it as laziness. part of my education, I suppose, to edit edit edit and be perfect.
your theme, however, I think has promise. there's a story there--take your time and bring it out by starting all over.