I wrote this. Do you like it. Could you critique it please?

Question:

I wrote this. Do you like it. Could you critique it please?

I came to you last night with a secret
I told it to you and you told me not to fret
You told me I'd be ok
You told me to make it one more day
I told you good bye
Then you saw me cry
You held me tight
You were with me that night
You gave me your hand
But my life was dissapearing like footprints in the sand
You told me to hold on
You said you'd hang in there till all my pain was gone
I said I was fine
And that again my life was mine
But you saw right through me
You're the only one who can see
You're the only one who really
Knows the real me
You saw me cry
You know lied
You knew the whole story
That scars weren't an accessory
But I had better night last night
It all went away, it's all out of sight
I'm happy again
Thank you, my freind

Additional Details

1 week ago
oh yeah any ideas for a title

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 1 week ago
oh yeah any ideas for a title