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Yes or no?

Should I continue with this style of writing? Yes or no?

Follow link:http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-3tmkpeq8e...

Tell me what you think?


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I really liked it! However (this is meant to be constructive criticism, so please don't take offense) it might be a good idea for you to do some "telling". The people are moving and speaking and kind of give a sense of what is happening, but assuming that this is a "first page" test, I don't think that I would read an entire book in which I have to draw my own conclusions based upon a minimum of information. It does draw me in, but I don't believe that I would buy it, written like this.

However, why ask us to tell you? Send it to some publishers, see what they think! It's really great if someone picks it up, and if not, then don't be discouraged- simply tweak it a bit and try again! Good luck!