New poem??? How does it sound to you?

Question:

New poem??? How does it sound to you?

My friends...
Friends have a purpose
Even though we may not see it.
When you feel lost,
They are there to help you through.

They give you hope
When you are depressed
So you can cope
And get through.

We all have our moments
But remember that many people care.
Even though we may not sense it
Don't fall into the devil's lair.

Many people have been tempted,
But I will be one to make it through.
I am being led
Out of darkness by my crew.
My friends...

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The sentiment is well developed. You obviously have good friends. Yet, this poem, seems more like an essay about what a good friend should be like.

Critiques:

1.) "Through..." is used too much, which breaks up the flow of the poem.

2.) You start out so positive and without warning add in an intense, vivid image. You have to ease your reader "into the devil's lair". I would pick a better image as well! This is a little too rough for a nice poem about friends.

3.) What is the tone of the poem? Do you want it to be happy and about how friends help you? Or do want it to about hardship and hardtimes! Focus your poem!!!

It has possibility! Keep revising and you will find a great work of art!!!!